Bless the Broken Road
by x-Artichoke-x
Summary: Reminiscing over his partnership and friendship with Jill, Chris finally accepts the feelings he had long suppressed throughout the years. Post RE5. ChrisxJill.Oneshot. x


_**Bless The Broken Road**_

Yeah, so… Turns out I'm still alive. This is just a little oneshot that came to me incredibly randomly! It's very thrown together, and was written too quickly. But hey I just got the writing bug and really wanted to do it. I will get back to No Hope Left someday…. I promise! Anyway hope you enjoy. Title is Rascal Flatts.

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><p>"Jill?"<p>

With no response, he quietly pushed open the wooden door. Morning rays shone through the large windows, filling the bedroom with a warm yellow glow. Flickering his eyes to the window he appreciated the sight, garden full of colour sitting below the perfectly clear sky. It was one of those days; the grass looked greener, the sky looked bluer. Everything seemed to fall into place. He felt peaceful.

The feeling was surreal to Chris. He didn't think he had felt it since he was 25. And after ten years of constant worry, pressure and pain, his head was used to running round in circles, constantly arguing with himself or discussing some work matter in his head. But all this time, he was just staring out the window. Peacefully.

Chris was drawn from his daze by gentle rhythmic breathing which filled the silent room. His eyes moved to the woman snuggled on the bed in light slumber. Jill was still wearing clothes from yesterday, sleeping above the sheets. He figured she must have crashed out last night. He couldn't blame her for being exhausted.

Chris's brow furrowed slightly as his mind wandered from its peaceful state, back to the tormented thoughts he was more acquainted with. She truly had been through hell. He never could let himself think of the unimaginable torment she went through under Wesker's hands. It made him feel physically sick.

Her return from captivity hadn't' brought her the happy life Chris knew she deserved. She spend six months in hospital, many weeks of which in intensive care. And during that time, Chris' visits were restricted, if allowed at all. It was hard, he tried to juggle all the paper work from Africa, along with the heavy paparazzi coverage, which meant he found himself busy every night. And even though she was home, he was frustrated to be keep so apart from her.

After medical and psychological checks, Jill was finally allowed to go home. Only temporarily of course, with constant check-ups. But still, it was a progression. Chris offered his spare bedroom, and the two arrived back the previous night. She was home. She was alive. Sleeping in his house. Alive. He couldn't believe it. It was too good to be true. She was back where she belonged.

Chris sat as gently as he could on the bed, and positioned himself beside her. His eyes wandered over her, taking every inch of her in. A smile crept onto his face. He had only ever dreamt about this moment. She looked just as he had remembered, sure she was pale and beaten, but her features remained as youthful as when they first met.

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><p><em>30<em>_th__ September, 1997._

"_So… you seen the new girl yet?" Joseph asked, a sheepish grin plastered over his face._

_Chris looked up from his paper work to see the younger man leaning over his desk, eyes twinkling with mischief. He had that look. The look only described as a Joseph Frost in love look. In love perhaps wasn't the best definition, more in lust. He had a terrible habit of falling for every woman in the workplace. Unfortunately Chris had to listen to every detail of it, starting with Joseph asking Chris' opinion of her, then talking through their first date, then describing how she just wasn't right for him. Conveniently the last step always occurred when another young woman entered Joseph's life._

_Chris couldn't help but let out a grin. _

"_Not yet, she hasn't been introduced to the team." _

"_I know. But I saw her on the grand tour with Captain Wesker. She ain't too shabby. Really pretty, cute little face, big eyes, button nose…" Chris rolled his eyes as Joseph spoke. "Oh, and an ass to die for."_

"_Wow. She does sound amazing." Chris didn't attempt to cover the sarcasm in his voice as he asked, "Is she the one?_

_Josephs smile disappeared, his face going deadly straight as he pondered, making Chris let out a laugh._

"_You know….I think she is…" Joseph placed his hand over his heart as he whispered. The two erupted into laughter, with Chris playfully swatting him away._

"_Either share the joke Frost, or go back to your seat." Captain Wesker's voice made the entire STARS office fall silent. Chris's smile faded, as he watched Joseph crawl back to his desk. _

"_I'd like you all to meet Alpha team's newest member, Jill Valentine."_

_Chris moved his sight away from Joseph and toward his Captain at the front of the room. Standing behind him was a young woman, she looked early twenties, fairly tall in stature, with a slim build. She gave a small wave and a brief hello to the group of men in front of her. Chris couldn't help but feel for her. _

_He had to admit, she was pretty. She was youthful, and slender. He watched as she fiddled with her hands, while Wesker continued to introduce her. Suddenly her eyes flicked up, large blue orbs meeting his. Chris had got it wrong, she wasn't pretty. Pretty didn't suffice. She was beautiful. Her eyes were huge, piercing and full of emotion. _

_He let out a small smile, which she quickly mirrored before lowering her gaze once again._

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><p>Jill was still beautiful, Chris admired her face, seeing the same features he remembered from the first day they met. With age she had only become more beautiful.<p>

These were the feelings Chris had never showed her. They had always been suppressed. He was scared to jeopardise not only his professional relationship, but his close friendship with her. After her supposed death, all these suppressed emotions came out. After too many beers, Chris would wallow at her grave, saying all the things to her that he never could when she was alive. Telling her over and over again how much he loved her.

He did love her. He always had and always will. But she never knew. And even now Jill was blissfully unaware of all these thoughts he had. Chris leaned over and brushed a stray piece of hair from her face, careful not to wake her.

How could he not love her? She was beautiful. But she was also his best friend. She was always there to listen. The only person he ever truly opened up to. And she never betrayed that trust. She treated him better than he felt he deserved. On many occasions Jill Valentine, was Chris' support, his family.

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><p><em>25<em>_th__ December, 2003._

_Chris gently knocked on the door to the apartment, and let himself in, as he often did. Even after the destruction of Raccoon City, and the horrors they witnessed, Jill never locked the door. She said it was just habit but he figured she didn't want to give into the fear, or let it dictate her life as it so often did. _

_Chris followed the smell of cooking turkey, but was confused to find no Jill. He heard a rustle and frustrated groan from the living room, making a smile erupt onto his face. Entering the small living room, his smile grew bigger at the sight before him. Jill was standing on her tip toes trying desperately to put a small angel on top of the lavish Christmas tree to finish the decorations. _

_She looked adorable, big fluffy socks, and a dorky Christmas jumper with a reindeer on the front. She turned to him, with a frown upon her features._

"_You just going to stand there, or are you going to help?"_

_Chris let out a laugh and small sigh. Taking the angel from Jill, he placed in onto of the tree with ease. _

"_Ah, beautiful." Jill smiled, admiring her own handiwork. "Thank you."_

_Chris couldn't help but mirror her smile. Christmas was her favourite time of year, everyone knew this. And no matter what was going on in their lives, what stupid missions they had to go through, she would always go over the top with Christmas. She argued she had to cling to the only normality left in their lives. _

"_Merry Christmas, Jill. Thought I'd pop by, give you your present and all that." Chris handed her a perfectly wrapped small box. _

"_You shouldn't have." She smiled, and placed it under the tree, lifting a different present out to hand over to him. "Merry Christmas!" _

_She flashed a genuine toothy grin, which made him reciprocate. She was beautiful when she smiled properly. Sadly Chris, nor the world, saw that smile very often from her. She wasn't as bubbly as she was during STARS. The years had battered out her light heartedness, her faith and happiness. But in fleeting moments like these, he saw the old Jill again. The young girl who was full of life and joy. _

"_I have to check on the Turkey real quick." Jill scuttled past him and into the kitchen. Chris slowly followed her, admiring all the small decorations around the apartment. She'd made a lot of effort this year. _

_Entering the kitchen, he glanced to the table. She had already laid it beautifully out with her best cutlery and candles already lit. His brow furrowed, she had laid out three placemats. He knew Jill always spent Christmas with her dad, but was unsure who the last seat was for. _

"_Do you have a guest coming?"_

_Jill turned, setting the cooked turkey on the kitchen bench, and gave Chris a confused look. _

"_You said a while ago that Claire wasn't going to make it this Christmas…" Jill flashed him a smile, one which he was too shocked to return. _

"_Jill…. Really, I can't accept that.."_

"_Come on, it's Christmas. They are plenty of days during the year when we feel alone. But I refuse to let Christmas be one of them." Chris's face softened at her words, "You can't sit watching tv and eating a ready meal on Christmas Day! So you don't have a choice. Spend Christmas with me and my dad."_

_Chris let out a big grin, shaking his head in disbelief. He never would have expected this. She treated him too well. She knew him inside out. And always went the extra mile to ensure he could be happy. _

_ Chris moved towards her, and pulled her into a hug, squeezing her tightly. She let out a gently laugh, hugging him back. She felt small in his arms. He never grew tired of this feeling. Her petite warm body pressed against his. It always calmed him, brought him peace. _

_He leaned out of the hug, but continued to gently cup her shoulders._

"_Thank you. Merry Christmas, partner." _

"_You're welcome." _

_She spoke softly. Her blue eyes met his. And for a brief second, he wanted to kiss her. In that moment he wanted to show how grateful he was. Not only for this moment, but for everything she had done over the past years. All the sacrifices she had made. Her bright eyes stared up at his, her lips slightly parted. He quickly suppressed his urges. And thought of all the possible repercussions. _

"_Remember Chris, you're never alone…. You have me."_

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><p>Her words always resonated with Chris. She was right. Even in his darkest days, he was never alone, she was always right by his side, as his dutiful partner. Celebrating Christmas with him was just one of the many gestures she had done for him. So small, but yet so meaningful. He, Jill and Dick Valentine stayed up all night laughing and drinking. It was the first time since the death of his parents that it felt like he had a family again.<p>

Chris always replayed that night in his head after Jill's death. That was the night he should have kissed her. And with that kiss, admitted all the feelings he had, all the things he never could say to her. And would never get the chance too. But alas, here he was. He was given his second chance. Jill was alive. Jill was safe and healthy. Jill was home. Yet, he still couldn't bring himself to say it all.

It frustrated him. Every day after her death, he punished himself for never admitting his feelings. And now was his chance, and he was a coward. Chris Redfield, the man who came out of hell unscathed many of times, was scared. What was holding him back from living the life he always dreamed? He was scared. Scared it would ruin the relationship they had built over ten years. Scared she wouldn't feel the same?

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><p><em>23<em>_rd__ November, 2006._

_Chris couldn't tear his gaze from the gravestone in front of him. His eyes kept scanning over the name. Jill Valentine. He read the words over and over again, but could never make any sense out of it. She couldn't be gone. This couldn't be the end. His words were no comfort. They only masked the truth that he knew too well; Jill Valentine was dead. _

_ As he admitted the truth to himself, tears pierced his eyes. The salty river joining with the rain droplets to cascade down his cheeks. He barely felt the cold, or the rain as it pummelled his shoulders. He felt numb. _

_ People passed by Chris. Some whispering words of comfort, some merely placing a hand onto his shoulder. Chris never raised his eyes to meet them. They were like shadows, silently passing by him. The sun set in the winter sky as the people began to dissipate. He felt alone. He couldn't bring himself to leave. The funeral was meant to be the goodbye. People come, give their respects and leave in peace. But he couldn't make himself do it. He couldn't say goodbye. _

_ A strong hand gripped his shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze. Chris finally moved his eyes from the grave to the man opposite him. The man was hunched, he looked defeated. The lines in his face seemed deeper and more prominent than Chris remembered. His eyes which once shone as brightly as hers, were now a dull grey. They were circled by deep dark rings. _

_Chris opened his mouth to speak. He felt it was his duty. The only man more upset than him was Dick Valentine. But he couldn't do it. His lips were dry, and no sound could escape them. Instead Chris met the older man's gaze, conveying a deep compassion through the intense stare that words never could have. _

_ Dick's face softened, an empty smile reaching his lips. _

"_Don't be so sad, son." _

_Chris noted the trembling in Dick's voice as he spoke. The words made involuntary tears trickle along Chris' face once more. He felt guilty. This was his fault. Standing in front of him was a man who had lost every woman he had ever loved. Chris should have protected her. The gravestone should have had a different name upon it. _

"_I'm sorry….I'm so sorry." The words murmured off Chris' lips again and again. _

"_Don't be sorry. She did this for you. She did this so you could live." _

…

"_Never forget that. Never forget how much she loved you."_

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><p>Dick Valentine's words always played over in his head. He never asked. But he always wondered what they meant. Chris felt a familiar sting in his eye, her funeral was the hardest day of his life. The day he had to admit it. He quickly gazed his eyes over Jill, taking in her body, her perfect face. Convincing himself this was her, this was Jill Valentine in the flesh. It wasn't some troublesome nightmare.<p>

Chris's eyes gazed to hers. They were shut lightly, her long eyelashes occasionally flickering in her sleep.

"I love you, Jill."

As his words left his lips, it felt like a burden had been lifted. But quickly her eyes flicked open. Bright blue eyes meeting his, watching as his eyes widened at the sight.

"I'm in love with you, Jill. I always have been."

He couldn't believe the words were coming out of his mouth, but once he started he couldn't stop. He watched closely trying to gauge her reaction. Her face softened, a smile playing over her lips as she continued to stare into his eyes.

"It took you long enough…" Jill whispered.

Chris let out a sigh of relief, a smile teasing his lips. He gently shook his head. This wasn't quite how he imagined it to be, though it was typical Jill. Always reacting calmly to a situation, never one to over-play anything.

"I love you too."

Chris turned on the bed to face her. He didn't say anything. Just stared, admiring her. He reached his hand out toward her face. Carefully his fingers grazed every inch of her. They entangled in her long hair, feeling the softness as it framed her face. He moved lightly across her cheek. Her skin was pale, delicate like porcelain, but so clear and silky. His hands ran over her button nose, eliciting a small giggle from her mouth. Finally, his calloused fingers traced her plump lips.

Jill's smile dissolved, as she gazed into his eyes. And after ten years, he finally saw it. He saw the look she gave him. The look she always did. Those sparkling blue eyes meeting his. She loved him. He could see it. It was the same look she always gave him. He had just never recognised it before.

Chris slowly moved forward, placing his forehead against hers. He felt her tremble slightly, but their gaze was unwavering. He felt every warm breath exit her mouth and tantalise his. His eyes shut as he finally brought his lips against hers. She was soft, and gentle. Her sweet, flowery scent filled his nose, as he continued to kiss her. He felt her hands run along his jawline and stubble, as she deepened the kiss. Chris smiled against her mouth, continuing to place a thousand delicate kisses upon her.

Slowly, he pulled away, keeping his head in close proximity to hers. She let out her genuine toothy grin, making Chris beam back at her. Jill was back.

Chris held her close as the two talked for hours. He told her all about his life, what had happened what had changed. And finally she told him about the past years. She opened up to him, occasionally she broke down. But he held her, and he kissed her, and he loved her. He got her through the painful memories. And eventually, they slipped into silence. Jill was cuddled into his arms.

This was the feeling he had craved for years. The peacefulness, no thoughts running around tainting his happiness. No niggling worries in the back of his mind. Just silence. And with the silence came his peace of mind. He had struggled and fought his entire life. And Jill was always with him. And whenever she died, a piece of him did too. He loved her, he loved her every day she was alive, and missed her every day she was gone. But she was back. His partner, his best friend and his love. And finally he was content.

"You're never alone Chris, you have me."

-x-


End file.
